Why Jesus Matters

I do not even begin to know where to begin here. I am afraid to say what I’m about to say. It feels arrogant. I’m sitting in starbucks typing in size 10 font so that no one looking over my shoulder can read what I’m writing until I’m really sure I want to post it. That’s how I feel right now. Not courageous or smart or wise. 

For a while now, I believe the Holy Spirit has been asking me to write something called: “Why Jesus Matters”. Just that name scares the crap out of me. As if I could explain the Incomprehensible One in a blog post? Even if I made this a book?! So let it be known, I do not pretend to know all about God or Jesus or the human experience with our Maker. But I have seen Him, and I am compelled to share what I have seen. This is what it means to be a witness of Christ, isn’t it? Confessing what we have seen and heard of Him. 

I am reminded of the woman at the well. Do you know what is truly remarkable to me about that story? Jesus meets this woman at the well, tells her everything she’s ever done, she goes back to her town and shares about her encounter with Jesus saying: “He told me everything I’ve ever done.” And MANY PEOPLE BELIEVED IN JESUS BECAUSE OF HER TESTIMONY. Nameless She brought many people in her town to Christ because she saw Jesus, she heard Jesus, and she confessed her encounter. And we don’t even know her name.  Not only was she not some great evangelist who had been waiting in expectancy for Jesus to arrive, she was an adulterous woman, who ushered people into the Kingdom of God because she saw Jesus and told people.

The impact of the woman’s testimony is what blows me away about that story. Mmm, the simple power of testimony.

When we dare ask the question, “Why does Jesus matter?” with a truly open, humble, truth-seeking heart, we are blessed beyond our wildest dreams. Jesus is more than we’d ever ask or imagine. Be afraid to ask, but ask anyway, because it will change your life.

I have found many reasons in my own life for why Jesus matters. I know there are more out there than I’ll ever comprehend. And praise Him for it! His kindness is without end. Here is my confession:

He knew everything I ever did, He knew everything I was doing, He knows everything I’m doing today and for the rest of my life. He looked on me with love and saw me just as perfect as He washed me to be.

I was hopeless. He became hope for me.

Someday, I hope to be a better person than I have been. I hope I will love people better. That’s all this life is really good for.

And someday, when I am a better person (only because I’ve spent more years in his radiance), His thoughts about me will remain the same as they are today: “I love you”, “You are mine”, “There is no flaw in you”, “I give you life in abundance”, “I will always be faithful to you”, “You will always belong to me”, “I bought you with a price”, “I have separated you from your sin”. And also, he won’t be lying. Just like he isn’t lying today.

The Living Water flowing from the Lamb of God never ever runs dry. We can drink as freely as we wish without ever fearing a shortage. We don’t have to have “dry seasons” in our faith. Hard seasons are promised, but dry seasons are living in denial of the truth that Jesus is a spring of living water that never ever runs dry. Drink up.

His freedom is for today. We do not have to wait to become free someday when we die and go to heaven. We can live in freedom, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control, and abundance right now and forevermore.

I always denied the Gospel by comparing myself to others and striving to be enough.

I forgave myself for not being enough, and He was enough. 

Gaining Jesus is gaining all. Jesus is all.

I used to think that Joy and Peace were cute things we just sang about in church and might receive in heaven someday, but they didn’t exist here and now. Well, I thought that way because I had no Joy and I had no Peace. Now, through the Holy Spirit, I have free access to real, tangible Joy and Peace day in and day out. The gifts of God are the greatest possessions. It sounds like a joke that I can simply exchange the things of this world for the things of heaven. It’s too good to be true! But it is true.

Finally, Jesus matters because he is Lord. He is holy. He is worthy to be praised. He is creator. He is on the throne. His goodness and kindness are without end. His love endures forever. His love ENDURES forever. (It never stops, ever). His love isn’t like an earthly marriage that has it’s good years and bad years. His love endures forever. His love carries on in every moment. He is never EVER less loving toward us.

As a witness of Jesus Christ, I am slowly learning to echo Paul in saying I know nothing but Christ and Him crucified.

He is all.

He will always be all.

And that is really all I know.

I dropped out of school because I can't stop crying.

I don't know, maybe you've heard of Jesus. Maybe you've sung songs about him, maybe even since you were a little kid. Maybe you've been inside a church building before. Maybe even a church service. Maybe you grew up in church? Maybe.
But then again, maybe you know Jesus. And maybe you follow Jesus.
As for me, I did grow up in church, singing songs about him, going to camps about him, and all the like. And I do know him and I do follow him. 
And even so, I didn't learn until 14 years after I started following Jesus what "freedom in Christ" or my "identity in Christ" was (and if you don't know about those things, I urge you to find out because it changes everything). 
But my journey with Christ is not the point. The point is that I have a journey with Christ because somebody told me about Christ. 

All of that being said, I have to present the harsh flip-side of my reality. Brace yourself, because these are truths so unbearable that I had to drop out of school because I couldn't stop crying. So if you're wondering why I left Samford, these are my reasons:

2.91 billion people in the world have never heard the Gospel.

What's more is that only eight percent (yes, 8%) of missionaries go to people that have not heard the Gospel. To be clear, that's not 8% of people, that's 8% of missionaries.

Zero-point-zero-one percent of the WORLD'S Christians' income goes to reaching the unreached. (Yes, that's 0.01%).

Do you know that a church could be planted in EVERY SINGLE unreached people group with only 2% of the world's Christians' income? Meaning the great commission could have easily already been fulfilled by now.

Fifty thousand people die each day without ever hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ even one time. That's twenty-six million per year.



Where are we, church? 



And I don't mean, churches. No. I mean, all of us who are witnesses of Christ's resurrection. Where are we? Paul said that he knew nothing, NOTHING, except Jesus Christ and him crucified. That was his response to witnessing Jesus.

Take a moment to nakedly ask yourself, "Who is Jesus?" and "Do I believe?"

Because this is what scripture says:
"Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6).
And then says:
"for, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?" (Romans 10:13&14).

And yet, only 8% of missionaries go to people that do not already have the Gospel. So, what is it that we're believing? Are we choosing to believe a gospel that says "Jesus is the only way, but anyone who doesn't 'get the chance' to hear won't go to hell"? Look, I know this will make your heart and stomach sick, and I know it's controversial, but the truth is: Jesus didn't preach that gospel. And furthermore, does the way those truths make you feel determine whether or not they are true? I think that Jesus' life on earth, as portrayed in the Bible, proved that the God of the Bible is not scared of brokenness, sickness, or controversy. He said to heal the sick, he said to raise the dead, he said to set the captives free, he said to go into all the world and preach the good news of Jesus Christ, the good news that the kingdom is coming soon. 

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." (Matthew 13:44)

Who is Jesus? Do you believe? What are you going to do about it?

Life and Missions Update

Friends and Family,
     I don't even know where to start. As I look back at the past few years, my heart is welling up with gratitude and wonder, both towards the Lord and towards YOU. I have been given amazing opportunities and experiences I never could have imagined or dreamed up in my own mind. Just as it says in Ephesians 3:20, God truly is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. I remember quoting that verse in my Oral Defense speech about 2 1/2 years ago, and I did not realize how true it was then, but Jesus has confirmed it through my life day by day.
     Most of you already know that I did a 6-month Discipleship Training School with Youth With A Mission (YWAM) in Belize and South Africa beginning in the fall of 2011. I learned so much about the freedom of living in Christ, was transformed, and continue to be transformed as Jesus changes the way I think, the way I view this world and this life and the souls that surround me.
    After the Discipleship Training School, I had the opportunity to intern with a ministry called Models for Christ in New York City. Models for Christ reaches out to the people of the fashion industry to offer hope and comfort in what is often a taxing realm of work. Again, the Lord grew me immensely in the time I spent with Models for Christ, and I am so thankful for that sweet season.
     Beginning last fall, I became a student at Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama. I was really apprehensive about going to school, because I've known my whole life that I wanted to do mission work, and I did not want to leave the field to go to school. It was a hard decision, but over the course of the year, Jesus was with me. He was with me the whole time, and just like He always does, He loved me. And I continued to grow in His love and be transformed by it.
     This past Spring, God put it on my heart to attend a leadership school at a YWAM base in Jacksonville, FL.  The vision of YWAM Jax Beach is "to inspire, equip, and send people to share the good news of Jesus with those who have never heard." Specifically, YWAM Jax Beach reaches out to those who not only have not heard, but have no access to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This training has been so helpful to me and I know it has grown my leadership abilities. I know that I cannot keep this hope, peace, joy, and FREEDOM I've found in Jesus a secret. I am going to share it with those who have never heard. So, after one more year at Samford, I will be coming on staff with YWAM Jax Beach for at least 2 years. I am so excited to get to join in the work that they are doing to reach the unreached.
     I want to THANK YOU all for the way you have prayed for me, encouraged me, supported me financially, checked up on me, and loved me well. It may sound cliche, but I couldn't have done any of this without you! All the work that I've had the chance to do with YWAM is because you joined me in making it happen. It has been OUR work, in Jesus, not "my missions thing" that "I did." I know this because I have done, experienced, and seen way more than I am capable of or qualified for. I want to encourage you that God IS working and moving NOW, and He is way closer to you than you can imagine.
     I love you all so much, and thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for the way you loved me!
Remember that we love because He loved us first! How cool, yeah?! So cool. I'm praying right now that the peace of God, WHICH IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO US, finds you right now. That you will be filled with joy and hope right now. And be freed by Jesus name, right now.

Blessings,
Hannah Noelle Tichenor

rest

I've been meaning to write a new post all semester. The delay has been partially due to Samford's internet security blocking my blog, and partially due to a mind-block. I haven't had anything to say because I haven't known what to think about all these overwhelming changes happening in my life since moving to college. I know I shouldn't let that stop me from writing, because Jesus most often teaches me things through my own writing. Looking back on something I've written, even if it sucks, helps me to heal, move on, and remind me that I never need to go there again. I'm always amazed at the things I don't remember feeling, but because I wrote them down, I can use them as a compass in making my next decision. God always seems to bring up those learned lessons at the exact right time.

It's finally fall break, and I have really been enjoying the relaxation. Lots of One Tree Hill. Lots of loud piano, loud guitar, and loud singing at the top of my lungs. Lots of driving through the country, looking at the changing colors. Lots of good talks with people I love. Lots of homework (because a real break is unrealistic). Lots of Jesus. Just a WHOLE lot of JESUS. bunches of Jesus. I love my Jesus.

I've been feeling down on motivation lately. But then the Holy Spirit comes to me and FILLS ME UP. and then I feel ready to accomplish huge tasks. I just haven't been putting enough effort in, lately. And that's changing right here and now.

That's what this post is. I know, it's scatter-brained. It isn't deep. Not even very long. But I'm writing again. And I'm actually trying to learn again. And the Holy Spirit is inspiring me to write new words and new songs, and I'm not going to let anything stop me from chasing after his voice. Jesus, the sound of your voice is PURPOSE to me. You are my LIFE. Don't ever let me forget that. 

I am lifeless without you.

Dead--on the ground.

All my life is in you, Papa. All that I cherish apart from you is dead and death. But all that is in you is life and hope and light.

I meant it when I said "I will not turn away."

I used to be a quitter, but you have made me persistent. I am bent on seeing your face.

Thank you for this rest, Jesus.

birth to death

A word that God gave me in Africa has been pressing on my heart a lot today.  Here on earth, we are made to believe that life has a climax, and once it's over, it's all downhill til death. People are constantly talking about "the glory days" of highschool or college or early adulthood, looking back and wishing things could be as they were. People are talking about being in the "prime" of their lives. Living it up while we're young. This is the only life we got. Cram as much as you can into the time you have. And any of us can live that lie if we choose to, but it isn't what we're created for. 

Life, in light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, should be a growing and building process from birth to death.  As we step more and more into eternity with Him, we should only become more in-tune with His heart, His love and passion. We're not supposed to give it all we got for a little while and then "settle down" when we've done "enough." But if we love Christ, we give EVERYTHING to Him, because we know that there is nothing better than being fully in Him. The older I get, the more I want to leak Holy Spirit wonder from every seam of my being. The more I want to rage with the passion of my Christ. The more I want to lead and walk alongside others who are also seeking to bring Him glory.

When God gave me this word in Africa, it was to prophesy over some adults who apparently already know this truth full well--they're LIVING it. But today, God shared it with me again, and it was for me this time. I've been fearful and miserable and lacking in passion lately. I've been trying desperately to comprehend all the un-tied, extra-loose ends in my life lately. And maybe that's my problem: trying to understand life instead of trying to live it. And I've been busying myself with trying to "make every moment count." But some of the most meaningful moments come when you slow down and do everything to the glory of God.

I mess up all the time, but as I absolutely must proclaim everyday because I cannot do otherwise: Jesus has been FAITHFUL to me. Ain't nothin that can stop me from loving Him anymore. Because He loved me first, yes. But also, because He STILL loves me after all this.

And whatever "all this" is for you, I promise you, it isn't too much for Him to handle. If there are things you might be trying to hold onto, or trying to keep safe, know that His hands are the strongest and safest places.

"Love is doing what is best for someone. But making self the object of our highest affections is not best for us. It is, in fact, a lethal distraction. We were made to see and savor God--and savoring him, to be supremely satisfied, and thus spread in all the world the worth of his presence. Not to show people the all-satisfying God is not to love them. To make them feel good about themselves when they were made to feel good about seeing God is like taking someone to the Alps and locking them in a room full of mirrors." - John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life

Arise...your light has come

I came close to screaming out of Joy when I read this:


"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the LORD rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn. Lift up your eyes and look about you; All assemble and come to you; your sons come from afar, and your daughters are carried on the arm. Then you will look and be radiant, your heart will THROB and SWELL with JOY; the wealth on the seas will be brought to you, to you the riches of the nations will come. Herds of camels will cover your land, young camels of Midian and Ephah. And all from Sheba will come, bearing gold and incense and proclaiming the praise of the LORD." -Isaiah 60:1-6

blown away again

I've been reading through Isaiah lately, and I can't seem to get enough of it. This encouraged me so much this morning...literally built up COURAGE inside of me!!!


"Awake, awake! Clothe yourself with strength, O arm of the LORD; awake, as in days gone by, as in generations of old. Was it not you who cut Rahab to pieces, who pierced that monster through? Was it not you who dried up the sea, the waters of the great deep, who made a road in the depths of the sea so that the redeemed might cross over? The ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; EVERLASTING JOY will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. I, even I, am he who comforts you. WHO ARE YOU THAT YOU FEAR MORTAL MEN, the sons of men, who are but grass, that you forget the LORD your Maker, who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth, that you live in constant terror every day because of the wrath of the oppressor, who is bent on destruction? For WHERE is the wrath of the oppressor? The cowering prisoners will soon be set free; they will not die in their dungeon, nor will they lack bread. For I am the LORD your God, who churns up the sea so that  its waves roar-- the LORD Almighty is his name. I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand-- I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, 'You are my people.' ...This is what your Sovereign LORD says, your God, WHO DEFENDS HIS PEOPLE: 'See, I have taken out of your hand he cup that made you stagger; from that cup, the goblet of my wrath, you will never drink again. I will put it into the hands of your tormentors, who said to you, 'Fall prostrate that we may walk over you' And you made your back like the ground, like a street to be walked over.' " -ISAIAH 51:9-16, 22-23


Simply blows my mind how, despite my yielding to those who only want to make me like a street and walk over me,  our maker continually seeks to DEFEND me and COMFORT me and give me everlasting joy to crown my head. HE IS SOOOO FAITHFUL, even while I'm unfaithful.

"Material wealth doesn't make us happy. Listen to some of the wealthiest people of their day:

-'The care of $200 million is enough to kill anyone. There is no pleasure in it.' W.H. Vanderbilt

-'I am the most miserable man on earth.' John Jacob Astor

-'I have made many millions, but they have brought me no happiness.' John D. Rockefeller

-'Millionaires seldom smile.' Andrew Carnegie

-'I was happier when doing a mechanic's job.' Henry Ford"

-Randy Alcorn

I See Heaven

Just a little over two weeks left here in NYC. That's a little bit crazy. The two months of internship haven't exactly flown by, but still...it's somehow hard to believe they're almost over. I think that weird feeling I always get when a season of my life is ending might be because I wasn't made for endings--I was made for something never ending. If I have only learned one thing from this internship, (which isn't the case), I have learned more and more about experiencing the Kingdom of God. I've been seeing that veil pulled back in more ways than I can count, and seeing glimpses of the Kingdom here on earth; glimpses of my Jesus, here on earth. And could I ask for more? I've been seeing how short life is in the fullness of creation. Yeah, if I've gained one thing here in NYC, it's been new sight. I don't see people or circumstances the same way I used to. I don't see media or materialism even sort of how I used to. There is now only one thing I set any weight in--Love.

In Belize, before we left for outreach, we broke up into groups and discussed what we wanted to see happen during outreach; the changes we wanted to see made in ourselves. That was a very memorable night for me; under that elegant sky; broad and lit with the brightest stars. Among other things, I wanted to learn how to Love people well. And I mean REALLY Love people. Not to love for my own sake, but to Love others in order that they may be lifted up. HE said, "ask, and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you." And he wasn't kidding. Since then, I've learned so much about Love...what it is and what it isn't. What are right expressions of Love and what are wrong expressions of love. And I know I have an infinite amount more to learn about Love. And I know this because the greatest thing I've learned is that GOD IS LOVE. This finally became more than head knowledge to me right before I came to New York. It finally fell down into my heart, where I was able to understand and apply it. If God is Love, then Love is a name of God; Love is infinite, as is God. So, I'll never understand it in full. But I have come to understand this: that any true Love is from God. If you feel something for someone that isn't from God--in other words, isn't God's heart for that person; isn't what God wants for that person--it IS NOT Love. It's lust or pride or something else, but it is not Love. And a lot of this, I've said before...so I'm sorry for repeating myself. It's good for me to remember.

I guess, while I've been here, there have just been new developments to that line of thinking. And I have had the privilege of seeing some of the behind the scenes of the fashion industry, and so, gotten to see how much of it is real. The answer is, not much. And I've been BLESSED by the opportunity to see reality. God knew what he was doing by bringing me here. I needed this to keep on healing. I needed this new sight and new perspective of life to be able to go out and do what He has truly called me to. And I've been newly motivated, more so, and more rightly so, than ever before, I think. I wanna be who He made me to be. I want to be an elegant, beautiful woman of God and I want to be a fierce warrior of His Kingdom, and I get to be both if I let Him develop those characters in me.

Funny how my definitions of "elegance" and "beauty" and "ferocity" have morphed. Again, I don't see things the same as I used to. I have seen how God's favor in my life outweighs the rules and circumstances of this world. I have seen how Love transforms. I have seen how Love always protects. I have seen how heart break corrupts, but Hope restores! I have seen, seen, seen God at work and His Kingdom coming to earth. Interesting: we are called to live by faith and not by sight, yet I find that the more faith I have, the more I see!

And so, I've been holding to and rejoicing in the words of this song, lately:

"I See Heaven"

I see heaven, invading this place,

I see angels, Praising Your Holy Name
And I sing praises

I sing praises

I give You honor

Worthy Jesus

I see Glory, Falling in this place
I see hope restored, healing of all disease
And I sing praises

I sing praises

I give You honor

Worthy Jesus

We give You Praise, and all of the Honor
You are our God, the one we live for
We give You Praise, and all of the Glory God

Let Your Presence fill this place, Let heaven come
Let Your angels be released, Let Heaven come
We will worship at Your feet, Let Heaven come
Face to face we want to meet, Let Heaven come

I don't really know where to end this entry. I guess just with the encouragement that if you're reading this and feeling even the least bit unfulfilled, I urge you to cry out to God! Don't be silent any more. He HEARS every word, and He longs for you. Every bit of you. He wants to put goodness, Joy, fulfillment, and peace, and a million other things in your life. And I'm not preaching the wealth and prosperity gospel; I won't tell you for a second that you'll be rich with anything in this world...but I promise you this. Joy is greater than wealth. And he will fill you with Joy. Ask, and it will be given to you.

"O LORD, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me! Many are saying of me, 'God will not deliver him.' But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head." - Psalm 3:3 <3

He is everything.

Satan has literally attacked me in every aspect of my life I can imagine since I've been here in NYC. The beatings haven't ceased since I arrived. And still, through it all, I'm encouraged because I know that the attacks mean I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing what God has called me to. And I'm steadily seeing the veil pulled back and the Kingdom of God REVEALED! I couldn't ask for anything better. Nothing is more exciting! Praise you, Jesus!!!!!! Besides, Jesus has provided not only the amount of Peace and Joy and sustenance that I've needed to get through it, but even more than I need. He is everything.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." -Galations 2:20

-Jesus, let this be more true of my life every single day.

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." -Philippians 1:21

mmmm Jesus.

I think my heart just actually broke for the fashion industry. I'm tearing up as I'm realizing that, while I always thought they had what I needed, the reverse is true. I have what they're looking for: unfailing love.

"What a man desires is unfailing love..." Proverbs 19:22 I cannnot get enough of this verse. I keep learning more and more from it. The root of every sin and every addiction and every misguided passion comes from this desire for unfailing love; looking for it in the wrong place.

And again, I'm reminded of this verse, and why I'm here...I'll just let the word of God be my words and my purpose this morning:

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners...to comfort ALL who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations." (Isaiah 61:1, 3-4)

"I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." (Isaiah 61:10)

My zealousy toward Jesus just became overwhelming to the point I almost feel sick. I feel so strongly that there's nothing I desire but Christ, yet I know that I'm going to mess up and sin again, and the thought makes me want to rip my skin off. I'm so angry because hard as I try, I can't stay "good" for more than 5 seconds...honestly, not even that long. And maybe that's what I needed to learn this morning. How desperately my very flesh cries out for Christ, because without redemption, I would surely die. I couldn't stand to be alive knowing that I was hopeless to be good, and had no redemption from it. I'm finally realizing how undeserving I am of the life I have. I don't mean even the material things I'm blessed with: shelter, food, clothes, money...none of that. I mean my pulse. I mean my breath. I don't even mean physical or mental health. I mean the opportunity to be a human being, made for the very purpose to glorify my maker. And that, despite my desperate attempts to do Him wrong in my darkest moments, I do glorify Him. Because He is the one who makes beauty from ashes. He is the one who chooses the poor. He chooses the wayward. He brings them home, into a life full of wonder.

I'm picturing a plantation manor, in the dead of winter, surrounded by a snowstorm. The door is red, foretelling of the overwhelming warmth that wraps you as you enter. Discomfort isn't an option inside the manor; though, just a step outside would kill all comfort you carry. There are red velvet love seats near the fireplace,dark moss colored carpets stretch out over the deep brown hardwood floor, and Jesus wraps you in blankets and lays you down to rest there. This is where Jesus wants to bring us. Into rest. It glorifies the Father to have a house full of children that love Him...playing, laughing, singing, dancing, and resting in the warmth of His presence.And why wouldn't we want to be there? Anywhere else is the snowstorm.

All of us inside eagerly await the summer's arrival: when Jesus comes back and creates the new heaven and new earth. Then we will get to experience even more of the splendor of God. But in the meantime, we get to rest with him.

I think I understand my calling more now. That everyone who is outside the home--whether they're a model in New York, or an orphan in Africa, or someone in Franklin--they're all outside in the same snowstorm, and God has called me to bring them home. Bring them into the warmth. Bring them into rest; they don't have to fight for themselves anymore.

This is all of our call.

What a sweet life it is with the Father. I'm so happy to be a child in his household. Lord, help me to never forget this image. I want everyday to be a day in the warmth of your presence, and the grace of your laughter. There's nothing I want more.

And how like you this is, to bring me from a broken heart, straight into hope. How like you!

Love you, Papa.

NYC Fashion Week Outreach 2012

Running along the water this morning brought me back. Though the greenish Hudson is no comparison to the crystal Belizean waters, and the icy air is biting at me instead of mosquitoes (thank you Jesus!), I soaked in thoughts of the incredible blessings and goodness God has graced me with. Foremost being His presence in my life.

I struggle to even believe all that's happened over the past 5 1/2 months, because it's been so life transforming! And now I'm in New York. New York City. How did this happen, really? Before YWAM, you couldn't have payed me to do an internship in New York City because it seemed like a cold, dark place. Now, my heart has been totally transformed by God and I LOVE NYC. It was a bit of a hectic week getting up here. I found out Monday of last week that I was coming, and tried to make it up by that Wednesday...finding plane tickets and housing was a bit of chaos, but God worked it out perfectly. I made it up by that Friday, the 10th, day 2 of Fashion Week 2012. Here I am a week later, trying desperately to recap on the past week....and my mind is whirling like crazy! So much happened; so much that I wasn't expecting happened. This is what NYC Fashion Week 2012 looked like through my eyes:

GOD'S LOVE BREAKING THROUGH!

In greater detail: Models for Christ (MFC), the ministry I'm interning with, had a room set up with food and refreshments at the American Bible Society. Two YWAM teams from the Kona base joined with us as part of their outreach to NYC. They were so awesome to do ministry with!!! First of all, simply being around YWAMers brought me so much comfort--YWAM just feels like family now, and I can relate to many of their experiences and teachings, so it brought me so much peace to be surrounded by these "familiar" people my first week in the big city! Total blessing from God! Thank you Jesus! So, the YWAM team would split up into groups everyday--some would hand out postcards inviting fashion professionals back to the American Bible Society (ABS) for free food, water, prayer, and basically just lovin (though we didn't word it that way). Other teams would prayer walk, or sit in the atrium of ABS to welcome anyone who came looking for MFC, some would hang out in the courtyard of the Lincoln Center next to the tents and talk to photographers and bloggers, others would stay stationed in the room at ABS to "burn" (spend specific time in praise, worship, and prayer for the fashion industry and specifically for friends of MFC in the industry).

I think most everyone's favorite assignment was "accessing the tents." There were huge "tents" set up behind the Lincoln Center (an amazing performing arts center in Manhattan), where the fashion shows were being held. I say "tents" because you wouldn't know it wasn't a real building if they didn't call them "the tents."

this is the entrance to the "tents"

Walking in, there are different displays set up:

a Tresseme hair salon (2 stories) where you could get your hair done for free

Two different Mercedes were on display and people to take your picture with them. These dresses were on display next to one of the cars:

A Diet Pepsi station displayed some outfits designed by up and coming designers (and gave free diet pepsi with a fancy straw!).

There was a Maybelline makeup counter where they would sometimes give away free make up:

Interesting how it looks like she has devil horns in this picture, huh?

An Essie station giving away free nail polish, a Fiber One platform giving away free bars, another platform where you could have your picture taken and printed for free, there was a separate room with really fine jewelry on display ....I mean, this place was crazy...and it was just the lobby to hang out in between shows. There were two or three other rooms inside the tents where the shows were held. There was also a courtyard in the center of it all with fancy couches and fancy heaters. The thing about Fashion Week is that you have to receive an "invite" to be a part of it. Famous models, bloggers, photographers, buyers, sponsors and maybe celebrities would be invited to these shows to see the first glimpses of the new lines for this coming fall. So, to get in the tents to see a show, you had to have "credentials," which was a lanyard that would usually have the name of the show you were going to see. No one was allowed to get into the tents without credentials...except us? Yep, somehow, by the grace of God, we were able to easily get inside the tents...and I don't even mean sneaking. I mean walking right up to the guards, telling them which show we were going to see, and them letting us in. That doesn't happen. More than once, I saw the guards turning people away, but when I walked up, they let me right in. I always prayed before trying to get into the tents, and I never once was turned away! The YWAMers did the same, and I think some of them were turned away once or twice, but in comparison to how much they got IN the tents, that was NOTHING. I just know that it was God's favor. I learned a lot about the power of God's favor through this experience actually. The first day I went to access the tents, I was literally in jeans, a t-shirt, and cardigan. I thought I was going to be staying at ABS all day, so I didn't get dressed up. I looked in NO way like I was about to go to a show. And yet they let me in, no questions asked. with NO credentials.

yeah, this was that day....omg

Two other times, I totally messed up when talking to the guards. When he asked what show I was going to, I said "the Donna Karen New York show," and he went on to tell me that was about 40 streets away!! BUT, he then let me into the tent anyway!!! makes no sense. The next time, the guard asked me what show I was going to see, and I then realized I hadn't thought to look up what shows were about to happen, so I said, "I'm actually just going to meet up with some friends," and he let me in. I realized that when God wants you to do something, never doubt your capability because NOTHING but your obedience is dependent on yourself. He makes the illogical happen. I can understand why the logically minded have a hard time believing Christianity, because so much of it doesn't make sense. So much of it breaks the rules of the world. But we know not heaven's limits. Or lack thereof.

Once inside the tents, we would talk with people working the different stations, people going to see shows, models, bloggers, photographers, and just love on them. It has really amazed me how much New Yorkers appreciate prayer. When you can just walk up to someone and genuinely care about them and take some of your time to just pay specific attention to them, expecting nothing in return, it means something to them. I feel like in Franklin, "I'll pray for you" is thrown around so easily to a point that it no longer has meaning or power. The phrase doesn't even mean what you're implying. "I'll pray for you" usually means, "Wow, what you're going through is really rough and I feel sorry for you and I'll sympathize with you until it's better." Of course, not everyone means it that way, many are genuine when they commit to prayer, but I'll confess that I haven't been so genuine. I have just begun to be more committed and intentional about taking specific time to pray for people. Prayer is so powerful, and I kinda hate that it's one of those things we won't understand til heaven haha, cause I wanna know how it works. Regardless, it works.

Getting inside the tents doesn't mean you'll get in a show, however we did get into several shows.

This is Rebekah who "somehow" found herself with some credentials, though I believe in no coincidences. She made it into several shows!

I got into the Emilio Cavallini show with some of the YWAMers. This is the only picture I feel comfortable posting from that show haha:

Wow, there was spiritual warfare inside that show like nothing I've ever felt. 5 or 6 models, not much older than me, walked out on stage in bra and underwear, and basically made a sexual display of getting dressed. Each one of them either looked like they were about to cry, or they had an angry look of disgust on their face, as if to say "Go ahead and use me; I'm not worth anything." I had a hard time not breaking down in sobs during that show, but it gave me such a better understanding of why I'm here in NYC. I wanted so badly to go to those girls after the show and tell them their true worth, and that they didn't have to pose mostly naked in front of hundreds of men with cameras in order to make something of themselves. I wouldn't even know how to do that at this point, but I have faith that God will guide me to get to love on girls like them at some point.

Thursday night, I got to work at a show! Haha, I didn't have a big important job, wasn't super involved, but it was exciting for me! I got to tell the models when it was their turn to walk down the runway haha. Again, I think what I mostly gained from this was just better understanding of the behind the scenes of the industry.

So, it was so much fun to get to love on such a wide variety of people involved in the fashion industry throughout the past week. I'm so glad I got to make it up here for fashion week because it really lit a new understanding and passion for the kind of ministry I'll be doing here.

Prayer requests: that I would keep a level head in such a self-absorbed culture. I want my heart to be after Jesus only, and not pursuing my own ends. Also, my skin is SOOOO DRYYYY hahaha going from Africa to freezing cold is just shocking my body, and I'm cold almost all the time, so I guess just that I would be able to adjust to this place in body and mind, but in a Christ-like and Christ-centered way. :) Thanks for all your prayers and support already.

Well dressed YWAMers with their new friend, Steven Stiles (Styles? idk haha appropriate).

YWAMers (squinting because of the sun), hanging out with a photographer outside the Lincoln Center.

The whole crew (minus Leah). Loved meeting you all and getting to do ministry with you :))