ohhh marriage.

A week or so ago, I was talking with two friends about marraige. We were discussing different character traits and qualities we like in a person, and ideally, "what we're looking for" in a relationship. I said what I pretty much always say in such a discussion, " I don't know what I want." Of course there are certain things I find attractive in a man and certain things I most certainly don't, but other than the fact that I need him to love God before anything or anyone else, I just don't have "requirements." My friend said to me, "Hannah, find a guy that likes to read." He went on to say, "all guys need to be refined." I thought he meant this on a surface level; something to keep an eye out for....like an attractive character trait. Maybe that is what he meant, but if you think about what that really means. "A guy who likes to read." Someone who likes to learn. A man who isn't afraid for his ideas to be tested, stretched, and added to. A man who is interested in more than comfort, security, pride and ecstasy. Who is this man? "A guy that likes to read." And actually, i don't even think he said a "guy that likes to read," I think he said, "A guy that reads." Now if you think of what THAT means! It means everything I said, plus this: He may NOT like to read. He may hate it. But he does it anyway because he knows its good to grow.

I was thinking the other day about how my parents told me repetitively as a child, "We all have to do things we don't want to do." True understanding of this proverb has come only with age, yet as I've grown, I've noticed more and more that most of my generation hasn't learned this lesson. Instead they do as they please, even if they know its the opposite of what's best for them. I always thought it was just rebellion and laziness, but it's more like....ehh...stupid. And stubborn. And I am stupid and stubborn as well. I need to learn to read. And to thus to be courageous enough to grow.