I really like how I'm being stretched here. It's not the kind of stretching I expected. I thought for sure that I'd be uneasy and overwhelmed by the over charasmatic worship and crazy teachings, but be holding on to what God had called me to. DP is nothing like that. No snake holders here. No one trying to make me speak in tongues. Yet, no one against the ideas. Yesterday was our first day of "class," which is basically a lecture and discussion. We talked about all kinds of things, all kinds of ideas and subjects of conflict among Christians. The idea we were centering around was the ability to question and compare our ideas and to be able to differentiate between what we THINK and what we KNOW. From there, the discussion went all over the place, but I really like where we took it. I know that before long, this group of people will be a group that I can talk to about almost anything. I'm already surprised at how much we've shared with each other, while being respectful. Like i've said before, i've really loved loved getting to spend so much time with God. Worship, Prayer, Intercession, Journaling, Reading the Word, and everything we do here is focused on Him. Of course there are still distractions. They're in our hearts. I'm trying so hard to stay focused, but even in lecture, even when we're discussing a topic i'm genuinely interested in, I find my thoughts shifting back home, or even to the crazy geckos outside. Sometimes my mind wonders to something significant, or something I really care about and need to spend time thinking and praying about, but other times I just find myself day dreaming about something perfectly useless, or i'll even just be so focused on a song playing in my head that I can't focus on God. That's been the most frustrating thing for me being here. I want so badly to devote my whole self to him, but it can be difficult to know how. Especially when you're surrounded by people who you have no history with...they don't know who you really are yet, so they can't exactly set you straight when you're off. I know that will change as I grow closer to my team, but its a little unsettling right now.
We got to practice intercession today for the first time. We were interceded for the day after we got here, but today we got to learn how. Intercession, as I have learned, is prayer on behalf of someone else. Asking God to do something specific for someone. We prayed for the victims of the fires in texas and God just brought to mind all kinds of things to pray for that I would never have thought of on my own. It's so cool to me when someone else starts interceding, and they're speaking words that God didn't place on your heart, but you know that they are from Him because you can feel the Holy Spirit moving inside of you. It took me a long time to recognize this as the Holy Spirit, and honestly, I was afraid to for a while because I didn't know what would happen. I am a little afraid to speak in tongues, to be honest. But I know that God is a good God, and if he wants to give me that gift, it's a good thing. So even though I am a little afraid, I am ready. It's like the feeling you get when you're cliff jumping. You're standing at the top, and you can't help but be a little scared, but you still wanna jump off. You're not exactly sure how its gonna go, or what its gonna feel like, but you'll go for it anyway. That's how I feel when the Holy Spirit moves in me.
Anyway, i'm just rambling on and on haha, i'll write more betterer stuff sometime later. like maybe after i go scuba diving this weekend :/ scarrrryyyyy hahaha.
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