learning

I'm sitting in a little bakery in San Pedro, trying to sum up my time here thus far. It's been extremely difficult. It's hard to live with two other girls in a room that's half the size of my bedroom at home. It's hard to live under someone else's rules and schedules. It's hard to adjust to the extreme heat here. It's hard to put up with the bugs. It's hard to always get into a sand filled bed. It's hard to go through testing and trials in a group of people where NO one has known me longer than two weeks. It's hard to have limited communication to home. There are a lot of hard things here.

BUT, I'm learning. God is teaching me patience and endurance and self-control. This morning in worship, I was dealing with so much anxiety and I really felt God telling me that I needed to surrender to Him. I forgot what surrendering looks like. Surrender is not just turning to God for things, or following him, but being enslaved to his will. Which means doing all he's called me to, and being able to do it confidently because my hope is in Him. Fortunately, his will is love; perfect love. He wills to love me perfectly and he is ABLE to love me perfectly. He will guide me by this love, if I surrender to Him. That's what I want. No more fear and anxiety, but trust and confidence that God has me.

NOWWWWW, i have to do the MASSSSIVE amount of reading assigned for next week. ugh. but i love the things i'm learning.

And have i mentioned that its beautiful here? perfect day :)